Last Night's Dream

I often dream about living in fabulous houses with many, many rooms. Some are old houses, some are new, but they always have cool nooks and crannies. I'm always delighted to discover some awesome detail that I'd forgotten we had. I'll open a door or a cupboard or walk down a hallway and think "this is amazing!! Why did I forget that we had this ______?!"

Last night's dream was a little bit different. We had a wonderful new house. It was probably about 20 years old. Maybe 2500-3000 square feet, so large without being monstrous. It was a ranch, very spread out with oak shake siding. There were rooms that were cool and mysterious and there were rooms that were light and fresh. One detail I recall were some funky windows that had screens on both sides, with shelves inbetween to display rustic-looking nicknacks. The old owners had left a lantern there. While it all appeared to be old and covered with dust and cobwebs, it was just created to look like that, and the screens on each side kept it clean and tidy. The old rustic look was just an illusion.

The back yard had a large pool that at first glance looked dirty, but actually had been designed to be a green color rather than the usual aquatic blues. It was created to blend in with nature. (in my dreams there are always cool things like that, which seem to make sense but aren't usually found in the real world). Next to the pool was a wading-type pool that was also very natural green, with two adirondack chairs in it. It was so parents could sit and cool their feet while watching their kids in the connected swimming pool.

When I got the chance to finally take a swim, I found two women out in the pool with a young baby. (one of those details I have in dreams that aren't yet invented in real life was a little plug the baby was wearing so he couldn't poop in the pool. While it seemed like a great idea in the dream, this morning it seems not so.)

I didn't ask why they were in our pool. I let them swim with me and listened to their conversation trying to figure out who they were. They mentioned something about the train tracks, and waiting, and they eventually got out and left. I thought that the next time they came for a swim I'd let them know that we had purchased the house and that the pool wasn't "open" any longer.

When I went inside to change (remember, we were just moving in so all of our belongings were in boxes everywhere!) I found a friend of mine asleep in the master bedroom. I made a mental note that I was going to tell her too, that the bed was ours and she would be welcome next time to take a nap in a guest room. She looked comfortable at the time though, and was suffering from a cold, so I let her stay there for the time being although also in the bed was my youngest baby, taking a nap. As I left the room I saw her roll over and pat him on the back as he slept, and I thought it was good for her to have some human comfort. Simple love like that of nurturing a baby.

I went back outside and was surprised to see from the side of the back yard, a train come cruising past the front of the house. It startled me and made me a bit anxious, as the curve on the tracks had the train turning so that if it jumped the tracks at the point the train would derail into our new house! And it was probably set up just 10 feet or so from the front of the house. I wondered suddenly how we purchased the house without realizing that the tracks were right there. Not wanting to diminish the excitement and satisfaction about the new house, I decided that we'd become acclimated to hearing the train and very soon wouldn't even notice it when it passed. I also convinced myself that trains rarely derailed and that the chances were unlikely that a train would end up crashing into that part of our house that had the master bedroom, (even though the tracks took almost a ninety degree turn right there and in real life it would probably happen every time.)

I stepped out for a bit to run to the store, and didn't notice the surroundings again, until I was headed back home. This time I noticed that the block our new house was located on was built very tightly. Although the homes across the street appeared tidy and neat at first glance they were actually part of a trailer park. The trailers were placed within a few feet of each other, and the facades that faced the street had been created to look like a sweet old-fashioned block of row houses. They varied in color but all had the same look of rehabbed homes that you see in large cities. The places where money moves into old, decayed neighborhoods and turns trash into treasures.

While I wanted to believe that the content of the neighborhood matched the pretty facade, my stomach sunk as I realized that wasn't true.

How could we have missed such details when we purchased this gem of a house? Location, location, location?!

It made sense where the ladies in the pool came from. Our backyard was the neighborhood's park. How would we end that?! After returning home, I stepped outside the front of the house to make another assessment of the situation. There was a huge commotion going on across the street where I noticed a group of people congregating around a squad car. And then I saw the yellow, police caution tape. And I heard someone talking about the murder.

Outside of our front door was a beautiful, curved, built-in bench, so I sat down broken-hearted, thinking that our dream house (and major investment) was in fact a nightmare. Two teens came and plopped down next to me and I came to realize that the bench built-in to our house front was considered by the neighborhood as the trainstop. I asked one about what happened across the street and he recited the details as if it had been no big deal. When I asked about the house, and what they thought of the house in the 'hood, he said they all wondered why anyone would build such a gorgeous house in such a terrible place. They thought it laughable. Ignorant of the owners. And then he pointed out that in the exact spot he was sitting, a teen had been killed waiting for the train one morning on the way to school. On our front bench! He said that was probably what put the previous owners and builders of this dream house, over the top.

I was filled with anxiety. Sick for the child that had lost their life, and wondering how in the world we had purchased this place which we had considered a dream - without knowing "the rest of the story." Somehow we had been totally duped. We had only seen what we were shown, without spending the time to learn the truth.

Interesting, that last night's dream turned into this morning's nightmare.
What you see isn't always what you get.

I'm wondering how much of this is tied into my disdain right now for the media. I've given up watching the news, for Lent. I'm tired of the stories I hear. The lies. The misrepresentations. I'm wondering how we can raise our kids to understand the importance of truth when everywhere around them they're seeing untruths. I'm tired of quick fixes that put bandaids on real ills (the facades on the trailer park homes). And I'm so saddened that so many young people especially, can see this all going on and think it's no big deal. Another day, another life, another lie, no big deal.

How did I get to this point in life? Where do I want to live? In my dream house? There's so much going on . . .